Happy Friends and Converse-ations

I giggle behind my hand in our local Deli as a coffee cup steams in my hand; I lean towards Sue as we talk in soft voices sharing gossip and news. 

                 "A Friend is a person with whom one enjoys mutual affection and regard; one  
                attached to another by affection or esteem ; a favoured companion"

Definitions which fail to capture the richness of friendship.

Friendships sheltered me when a hurricane of change blew my life into fragments. I clung to the tiniest gestures, a trip out for a coffee when I could  barely walk; an unexpected visit lightened the black cloud which had settled on my shoulders;  fifteen minute piano lessons at home with encouragement when little progress is made; the unexpected offer of a trip to Westonbirt, not knowing I am desperate to go; hours on the phone listening as tears drip off my nose and anger bursts from every pore; an arm when I want to swim; shared delight when my Converse become glued to my feet; an offer to shop and lunch.


The arms of long term friendships envelop me. New Friends have been blown my way on wispy clouds when the hurricane of change was too much for others. So many Sues I have nick names; 'old' Sue, Swimming Sue, Piano Sue.... Cathy, Chris, Val, Jon, Jacky, Corinne, Michele, Erwin, Ron, Eleri, Mark, Jayne, Owen, Linda, Julie, Steve, Bryony, Paul, Anne, Jane, Dave, Kate, Maja, Helen, Mike.
My friends and foundations; Mandy & Pete, Adrian & Helen, Luke, Lois, My Mom. 
(forgive me if I have forgotten any of you..you know who you are)

Mr H; the brick wall that protects me when the wind of exhaustion takes control, the arms that direct me when I don't know where to turn; the heart that beats beside me, the shared laughter when the sun shines.

Friendships are my precious flowers which I nurture and feed to ensure they grow.

The only way to have a friend is to be one

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Getting out and about Converse style

After a clear scan result I am tired with relief, I wear my new Converse around the house, the sales pitch gave me an idea:

You can wear them around the house for up to a year and we will still exchange them... 

The toes on my right foot wiggle with joy while my left foot rudely sleeps. I optimistically pack my winter boots away; the ankle prop they provided in the cold is replaced by the Converse style summer support.

We take a dander around the village to show off my footwear when Mr H comes home. The wind throws my hair all about town, I peer down at my feet, not because I fear I will fall, it is a new shoe stare. A smile smeared across my face, every few steps I remind Mr H; new shoes... I have new shoes. He laughs at me, used to my childish deeds!

Why don't you buy a pair in every colour if they make you this happy...

Our path leads as usual to The Daisychain deli, like a bird of paradise displaying its feathers, I proudly show Wendelly (our nick name for the star assistant) my Converse.  I have a pair too, show me the top, I turn my feet slowly like a cake on display. The topic of shoes rains; sizes, heels or no heels, the colour of my second pair of Converse....now I will never need a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes!

My pre holiday diet fails as I eat celebratory cake ....coffee and no cake NEVER.  I will need new outfits if I cant find Control, I have no idea where he has gone!

Gawping at Brain Scans; Some News

As I wait for brain scan results, time flows like treacle.  I tell myself it will be fine and part of me believes it, after all, it will grow if it grows, like my addiction to chocolate I can do nothing to change things. 

I applied for copies of my brain scans last year, I wanted to scrutinise my brain, the tumour and its effects. I have spent many happy hours poring over the pictures, some may think I am strange but as a nurse I need a scientific approach to come to terms with the changes in my life. Detailed analysis, explanations with no knowledge assumed and understanding provide the key to my coping strategy. 

Scan Picture 2012. The black hole mid right (left as you look at the picture) was the tumour site

Today is the day, I tuck my list of questions and scan pictures into my pocket; like a quiz master I want to know what things mean on the scans; why does my head still feel heavy when I try and read sitting up; why do I get pains along the left side of my head, why is my epilepsy so hard to control.  My ever patient Consultant, listens and explains.

My fourth annual scan brings good news. No signs of growth. Those four simple words are like daffodils slowly opening in the sun to reveal their splendour.

Good news or bad, retail therapy is always the solution, my footsteps are as light as the wind as Mr H and I hit the shops.  I plan to trip into summer with trendy footwear, Mr H raises his eyebrows when I show him what I want, he patiently watches while I try them for size. High heels are history but Cinderella Dawn is never too old to go to the ball.

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