Crafty Chocolate

Nowadays I am not allowing the crafty creaminess of chocolate over the threshold of our doorstep. Anyone who rings the bell is searched before entry. 

When Mr H comes home, a rustling shopping bag in hand, I wobble out to the kitchen to catch him before he sneaks any shiny packages behind the tins of baked beans.

I inspect every naughty purchase he has made - all items I refuse to add to the online delivery. He has two packets of extra fruity hot cross buns, two big bags of crisps and 1kg of peanut butter. 

I hate peanut butter so that passes for entry to the larder. I can easily avoid eating hot cross buns. But I groan at the crisps because like chocolate, one nibble and I transform into a salivating, snack hunting, cupboard swarming, demon. Reluctantly I accept their entry into the very top shelf with a warning;

Do not give me one. Not one. Even if I beg! Do not bring a bag into the lounge. If you want some put them in a bowl and eat them before I realise they are gone.

He nods a reassuring promise. 

But Easter is drawing near. I can tip toe (I wish) past shops, do all my online shopping with a full tummy, tell everyone not to buy me anything chocolaty. 

But my naughty mind has a voice of its own;

Go on just one mini egg they are only 1 syn each…

Just a nibble of dairy milk will be fine…

You can buy a pack of mini Twix and ration them…

But my sensible mind knows I can’t. 

So on Monday when my Slimming World consultant, Beautiful, Bubbly, Bonny says she has an idea to help us avoid cracking under the Easter egg pressure I move to the edge of my seat. 

Out from under the table comes a basket full of polystyrene eggs. Take one and pass the basket round Bonny tells us. 

There is a pot of felt tip pens on the table and the plan is that we decorate our egg to look like Bonny giving us the evil eye… 

Sorry that’s not what Bonny actually said. With a Bonny grin she said … 

Use your decorated egg as a reminder to be careful at Easter should you be tempted to reach for chocolate or any other trigger foods. 

So this is my version of Bonny saying NO CHOCOLATE. Bonny now makes me and Mr H smile every time we walk into the kitchen. And interestingly it is working as a deterrent…

Disclaimer: apologies to Bonny for my complete lack of artistic expression…