Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Gawping at Brain Scans; Some News

As I wait for brain scan results, time flows like treacle.  I tell myself it will be fine and part of me believes it, after all, it will grow if it grows, like my addiction to chocolate I can do nothing to change things. 

I applied for copies of my brain scans last year, I wanted to scrutinise my brain, the tumour and its effects. I have spent many happy hours poring over the pictures, some may think I am strange but as a nurse I need a scientific approach to come to terms with the changes in my life. Detailed analysis, explanations with no knowledge assumed and understanding provide the key to my coping strategy. 

Scan Picture 2012. The black hole mid right (left as you look at the picture) was the tumour site

Today is the day, I tuck my list of questions and scan pictures into my pocket; like a quiz master I want to know what things mean on the scans; why does my head still feel heavy when I try and read sitting up; why do I get pains along the left side of my head, why is my epilepsy so hard to control.  My ever patient Consultant, listens and explains.

My fourth annual scan brings good news. No signs of growth. Those four simple words are like daffodils slowly opening in the sun to reveal their splendour.

Good news or bad, retail therapy is always the solution, my footsteps are as light as the wind as Mr H and I hit the shops.  I plan to trip into summer with trendy footwear, Mr H raises his eyebrows when I show him what I want, he patiently watches while I try them for size. High heels are history but Cinderella Dawn is never too old to go to the ball.

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  1. Waiting for results must be the worst thing ever. I'm glad you have no growth. I have my annual MRI tomorrow, then 6 weeks of agony waiting for results... unless the phone rings before then.
    Nice looking boots ;)

  2. Thank you for your comment. Yes Debbie the wait is like a dark cloud suspended in the distance, all the positive thinking in the world can't bat the cloud away...

    I love my boots too think I will put them on now and wear them around the house tee hee!

    I wish you well with your MRI and results, let me know how it goes


  3. Excellent footwear choice Dawn - high heels are so overrated! I'm a real boots and flat shoes kinda gal too!

    You're blog totally outlines the way you feel when something like this has happened to you. One day your fine and life is 'normal' then something like this happens and then suddenly you're vulnerable. It's terrifying. I'm not paranoid as such, but I listen to my body more than ever now - just in case that pain isn't just a pain but something more sinister.

    You are brave Dawn and I know people will tell you that, but I think you handle it the best way you can without it ruining your entire life - so I salute you :-)

    We're tough stock xxx

    Lots of love


  4. Thanks H xx I am learning that the bumps in life are part of the journey...not so clear about why the bumps in ours have to be so huge; I never did like roller coasters!

    Lots of love to you too

    Dawn xx