Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Grappling for concentration

Yesterday, concentration and focus dangled out of my reach; our tether had snapped...

The 10.45 bus beckons for pilates, I have heaps of time, but as I load the washing machine the door bell plays Fur Elise. The post man hands me a parcel, I cut the tape and spy the contents with delight; but oops, it is not addressed to me so I hastily re-tape the box. I practice my oh my goodness how lovely look...for when Mr H comes home.

The laptop clicks its keys as I pass and I plonk myself down to check my blog, ensconced in my rocking chair I have to check my emails too...

The phone rings, it is Sue, apparently I have agreed to discuss the infection control project I am part of as I will miss the conference call because I prioritised Pilates! Twenty minutes later I grab my bag, lock the door then remember the washing, I just have time...as I step back through the door the tasks I had meant to do jump out at me:
Throw away the dead flowers
Do a bit of ironing
Pot up the green bean seeds

I scribble them on a bit of paper, tomorrows to do list.. hang out the towels, then make snails pace haste to the bus stop.

Leaning on the lamp post I realise I have forgotten my exercise sheets, the bus appears; too late.

As I drop into a window seat I recognise that now I can only juggle one ball. In my days as a Nurse Consultant I could spin plates, several balls and tame tigers all at the same time. My days in the circus are over.

Lists help but I forget to write them, if I write them they are often forgotten, I am easily distracted by anything. I started the filing at home but half of it still waits in the tray, I bought a new address book at Christmas but I have only got to D, the book snoozes patiently on the kitchen table.

...When the bus reaches my destination I have forgotten why I came so early, I make my way to a coffee shop and hope my memory kicks back in...

A good nights sleep and some rest should re-connect concentration and I.