Thursday, April 11, 2013

Fighting many rounds...before the bell rings

The words of a friends' friend yesterday made me think... The sooner you stop thinking about what was and concentrate on what is you will find peace...wise words from someone I hardly know

Fighting is part of recovery, a fighting spirit part of success... 

Round One was to get back on my feet and walk
Round Two to get back to work
Round Three to get back behind the wheel of a car
Round Four to find something to replace work
Round Five to get my epilepsy under control
Round Six to get back behind the wheel of a car; again 
Round Seven .......

Am I fighting a battle or war...if so is it against the tumour and its effects.... or am I making a vigorous effort in the face of difficulty...

In the ring not all rounds have been won:

Round One I drew, strong legs knocked to the ground have been replaced with weaker wobbly ones 
Round Two I was knocked out but staggered back up onto my feet when I won Round Three.
Round Four is a constant battle. 
Round Five I won, wobbled, saw sparks and fell in the corner
Round Six The ref counted to Ten ...beyond my control

My adult life has revolved around personally driven challenges...Nursing qualification, Climbing mountains...Honours Degree... Masters Degree..move up the professional ladder...pass piano exams...

In the words of Paul McCartney..spookily playing on the radio at this very moment..

When I find myself in times of trouble, 
Mother Mary comes to me,
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be,

And in my hour of Darkness 
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be, 
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be....

May be for me it is time to accept and relax into my new life keeping hope and motivation alive but not seeing living as a battle to be won...