Friday, April 26, 2013

Growing A New Life

I have sunflower and sweet pea seeds on every windowsill in the kitchen. Each morning as soon as I get downstairs I peer into my pots and when I spot a green stem or leaf, a squeal slips through my lips. I chat away to my seedlings as I prepare my cereal and pop my pills, I have learnt from Prince Charles that my plants will respond to this quiet stimulation.  I turn the radio to Smooth 70's; they prefer that to noisy news and up to date stuff. I am sure they bop to the sounds of Stevie Wonder, Barry White and the Carpenters; I deny that the movement is caused by my footless swaying at the kitchen sink.

Growing is like dealing with change; it takes too much time and needs more patience than I can keep stuffed in my converse shoes!

When my life changed in November 2008, I assumed (we have been here before ..assume makes an Ass out of U and Me!!) that once the surgery was over and I had bounced back up onto my feet again, normal life would resume. 

I chose to ignore the words of the neuro registrar on day one...if your tumour is benign you will live but it will be a different life.

Recovery, like growing, is part lottery and part hard work. I watched other patients in hospital refusing to do exercises, whereas like a diligent student I did all I was given.  My bedside neighbours and the nurses watched bemused when, with my left hand, like a shelf stacker at the supermarket, I repeatedly moved everything off my table onto the bed and then moved them back again. My home-made occupational therapy worked as I regained the use in my left arm quite quickly.

But my attention to gardening is less thorough and brings groans of frustration from Mr H as I pull out flowers instead of weeds, only half fill seed pots with soil and don't water as often as I should.

My new life is growing, work is replaced by writing and hobbies; I put in my hours at the Gym and baby pool, at home I have a list of exercises too long to fit on one page.  But the changes are never enough...like my seedlings they need time and patience and perhaps some, despite trying, will never pop through the soil....