Sunday, February 22, 2015

Feeding my soul with Hope

Today I lie on the settee to read the amazing Chris Lewis's latest Cancer Community Blog about Hope.  I am tired to my toes. So shattered my head is punching its reminder that a brain tumour lurks. Here! Throb. Here. Wince. Mr H will you pull my hair on the top of my you used to...

But this total tiredness and horrible headache are worth it. Every thump! Every paracetamol I will need to swallow to kick it out of my throbbing skull.

Yesterday Mr H and I climbed aboard a train to London. The start of a well executed plan. To meet up with my gorgeous niece, Mom and sister. To realise a dream. Lois's dream. And celebrate all of their birthdays! I am celebrating too. I have been discharged from Breast Cancer Oncology. 

I consider myself cured I announced proudly to my oncologist when he said he would leave me with an open appointment. I am driven by Hope!

Lois wanted to see the Billy Elliot Musical. She has hoped to for years. So when I was between doses of chemotherapy last year I booked the tickets for us all. As I paid I said to Mr H I hope I feel well enough. I hope I have enough energy to get me there and back...!

In the theatre, I sit deliciously huddled by my precious Lois, Mr H, Mom and Mandy by our side. 

When Billy reads out the letter his Mom wrote to him before she died, tears drip down my face. I too have dappled with death but today I am alive. Truly alive!

I listen to Billy describe what it feels like to dance and whisper to myself that's how I feel when I sing... Like sparks of electricity I feed my soul with hope...

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