Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Surfing Cancer's emotional waves

Yesterday I cried into cushions, burst into tears on the phone and sniffed my way through conversations...

2014 is passing me by I sobbed to my brother when he called...I am drowning in the arms of Cancer...three days after my second chemotherapy my empty legs refuse to keep me afloat... 

I was in a swell of despair...by bedtime I was a cried out wet rag.

This morning a smiling taxi driver pulls up at my door and we chat as he weaves me through the rush hour traffic to my 'Look Good Feel Better' Pampering session at the Oncology Centre. 

...in the waiting area we watch each other from under our flickering eye lids and avoid a shared smile in case she is not the one with Cancer.

On our way to the lift a blond lady smiles at me; you were in the next room to me on the ward she says as another joins in... and I was in the first...three in a row! Our smiles broaden and we lift our gaze to take in each others faces...and hair...

Squashed into the lift we share hair truths...mines a wig...never, it looks incredible...Thank you's bounce off the lift walls and we walk out wearing grins.

As we introduce ourselves there are so many stories, mine just stirs into the mix and our nervous smiles relax as some ladies take off their wigs and hats. 

We gaze at ourselves in a mirror and are amazed at the skin care and make up goodies which tumble out of our bags (all donated by the manufacturers).  We twitter like newly fledged birds as the qualified beauticians guide us step by step through how to make the most of our faces.

A (bit worn off as I am now back home) Make up selfie!!
The two hours zoom by and a few of us carry on sharing our wig and hair loss stories while standing by the lift...an hour later I am nursing the dregs of my coffee while still talking cancer with three beautifully made up ladies.

A taxi collects me for my trip home. Jason and I chirp away happily as we talk about life changing moments. He gave up his corporate work to drive a taxi...choosing to earn money to live life rather than being defined by his work and have no life... Mine?

... well today it was going to a Look Good Feel Better Pamper session, where I met others who are surfing the same waves